Happy Saturday, lovely readers!
This week, I'm going to talk about actively listening. How often do we really do this?
It's a skillset that I've been learning in a new "Introduction to Counselling" class that I started locally, and it has been really eye opening. It's a skill that I definitely need to develop: My brain is often so busy with things I want to share in response to what the other has said that I might miss out the opportunity to fully hear what they are saying. Sometimes being still, listening, and being curious is the best way not only to learn but to deepen connection and understanding with the other.
Naturally, I've been thinking about how can apply this skill not only in my relationship with others, but also the wonderful plants all around us.
This week I have chosen to focus on nettle as the plant of the week. It's one that most people can recognise, but perhaps it gets a bad rep because of its sting. But if you stop and really look - and dare I say listen - to the plant, you'll see it's actually quite a giving plant, full of nutrition, love and inspiration.
1) Wild Plant of the week: Nettle
Foragers often see the autumn as a 'second spring'. Not only do you have the abundance of seeds but often the spring greens have a second flush.
Nettle is one of those plants that you can use for both leaf and seed at this time of year, but you really have to look at the plant to determine its stage and which bit (if any) to eat. Some look really fresh and juicy. Others less so.
Nettle is an all round superfood really - a rich source of vitamins A & C, iron and potassium.
You can eat the leaves whey they are fresh and green (pick the top 2 or 3 pairs). Heat will remove the sting!
As soon as the plant has gone to flower/seed you should eat those instead as at this point as the chemical composition of the leaf changes and inhibits calcium absorption. You also want to be picking the female not the male seeds, as these are where the nutrients are (click on the plant profile above for a link to a video on this). To be fair, it's quite easy to tell - the plants that look really full and heavy with seeds are the female ones...!
Nettle seeds are very popular in my house - the only foraged food my husband actively asks for! They're crunchy and can be used in the same way you'd use any sort of seed.... At this time year I do have them drying everywhere and then I sprinkle them on salad or yoghurt.
What is nettle trying to communicate? I think it's actually a pretty giving plant. Not only is it so nutritious but it can give you a real energy boost, so a good one to take if you're feeling tired. I find just looking at the leaves and the seeds quite mesmorising because it can often just exude abundance and freshness.
Nathaniel Hughes from the School of Intuitive Herbalism talks about how nettle can teach our bodies how to assimilate nutrition, but also to learn about boundaries, especially for those suffering from trauma: "while nettle juice offers nutrition, her sting offers the self assurance we need to be confidently ourselves" (quote from the beautiful 'Weeds in the Heart' book).
2) Listening each other
As I mentioned above, really actively listening is a skill that does take practice. This means just focusing entirely on what the other is saying, sitting with what has been said or asking only questions that prompt further information. Not inserting any of your own stories or anecdotes into the equation. Evidently this isn't a way to conduct ALL your interactions, but it does have its place.
I have found this can be especially hard when you really do agree with what the other is saying. You may want to interject and add a supporting fact or anecdote - but then that can detract from what the other is trying to tell you.
My counselling teacher forwarded the an article called, ‘Be interested, be curious, hear what’s not said: how I learned to really listen to people’ - by Annalisa Barbieri from the Guardian in 2021, which I found to be a really interesting read.
3) Listening to the plants
It's well known that indigenous cultures see plants as beings to be respected. On this theme, I have been enjoying reading "Braiding Sweetgrass", by Robin Wall Kimmerer, a book which blends scientific knowledge with Native American wisdom.
Emphasis is on gratitude, only taking what you need (the "honourable harvest"), and acknowledging the life that is taken when we eat the plant - and asking for permission: "Asking permission shows respect for the personhood of the plant but it is also an assessment of the well-being of the population".
Here in the UK, the school of intuitive herbalism actively teaches building that relationship with the plants, and I'd love to go on one of their courses next year to find out more. The Intuitive Herbalism book, is a short read and talks more about general principles of engaging the plants in a relational way.
Nathaniel says:
"If we choose to believe that plants are complex living beings, with a spirit, a unique personality, each one with its own complex and inerconnected place in the natural world, we can approach them as such and start to open doorways into a deeper relationship with them".
I'm still learning how to do this, to be honest. But it's an exciting proposition!
Concluding thoughts
The ability to listen is such a wonderful thing. This also means stopping and listening to ourselves and our own needs as well. Times of quiet are underrated. I'm looking forward to continuing this counselling course that I've started, to learn more about the active listening skillset.
The next couple of weeks will be pretty busy for me so I'll be resuming this newsletter on 27th October. Have a great couple of weeks everyone!
Amanda x
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