The Beauty of Surrendering to Motherhood: Lessons from 2025

I have been enjoying woodland walks with my baby, even into the winter

As we approach the end of 2025, I'm taking a moment to reflect on my journey this year and a major lesson I have learned along the way.

Pregnancy and childbirth

I started the year heavily pregnant. I was continually physically exhausted, to the point that it felt surreal. Standing while cooking was too much exertion for me. When I went on maternity leave in mid January, I was more than ready.

Then, in February I became a mother for the second time. Little Miss arrived just shy of 42 weeks gestation (2 weeks after my so called 'due date'). Although I was very nearly induced because of her supposed tardiness, I was lucky enough to be blessed with an incredibly healing home birth.

From the moment my slightly trembling hands lifted her out of the birthing pool, she brought joy to our lives. There is something so magical, yet fleeting, about those newborn moments.

I feel truly honoured to raise another baby and get to know her unique character. Her beautiful smiles, watching her learn to crawl, the baby chattering. A moment of eye contact makes my heart swell with pure bliss.

I often reflect on how lucky I am to be out walking into town with the baby in the morning while others are working

But of course, the process of pregnancy, childbirth and post partum is ...intense. It is all consuming in a way that you really can't explain to somebody who hasn't been through it. Even when you have been through it, it soon becomes a distant memory and you forget.

You forget that baby sleep is a total enigma, that washing your hair can feel like an achievement, and that you enter a slightly alternative world with another being who is totally dependent on you yet cannot tell you exaclty what they need.

In my case, my baby will only sleep with movement or when feeding, not in a cot (yes, believe me, I've tried!). And I've just surrendered to that as something that is biologically normal and will only last for a short amount of time.

And so slowly, surrender has become my motto for this year. Surrendering to this moment of motherhood and everything that it means.

The joys of childhood

At the same time, my elder daughter turned five. What a fun age that is!

She is a happy, bounching child who loves to sing and dance. She's inquisitive, thoughtful and kind. She tells me she wants to live with me forever, and although I obviously won't hold her to it, I'll be sure to remind her of this when she's older.

Being on maternity leave has blessed me with more quality time with her as well, as I have been able to drop her off at school each day pick her up from school at 3pm.

Of course, she has had to navigate life with a new baby sister - one she was incredibly excited to meet, but perhaps not fully cogniscent of what this would mean for her life until she got here.

A few weeks in, she said "Mummy, babies are a lot of work". Yes, my love, they are.

But now as her little sister approaches 10 months old, they laugh together a lot and are starting to establish a great rapport.

In the hours after school when I would ordinarily have been working, we do crafts or dance or just co-exist. It's precious time together that I'm incredibly thankful for.

Foraging with my daughter this Spring. She said she wants to be a 'plantologist' :)

Plant profiles

I had made a commitment to write an in depth plant profile each month, because I wanted to build love wild plants as my passion project. I had done a lot of reading about purpose and felt convinced that mine was at least in part to help people reconnect with the healing power of the wild.

And writing, when I have the time and no pressure, really helps me feel free. I find it expansive and liberating.

But trying to fit it into such short snippets of time can feel heavy. I kept writing throughout my third trimester, after giving birth, and right until October. I wrote an in depth plant profile at least once a month, sometimes more - and I also posted quite a bit on instagram.

It was working, I was getting more and more followers on threads (crossing 5,000 which had been my goal by the end of the year!) - and my readership increased on this blog.

I also wrote an eguide on how to forage your own wedding flowers, which was something I had dreamed of doing for years. I really believe that if we can bring the wild into our rites of passage and celebration then we will feel more connected to each other and get a deeper sense of belonging to this world we live in. It felt good to write this ebook to bring together all the knowledge I had gained from foraging for my own wedding as well as the creations I'd made in the years since then.

But, then, suddenly I stopped.

The truth is I was tired, and it started to feel heavy as I was writing from a place of 'must'. I was really conscious of not missing time with my girls, wanting to be really present with them. Along with keeping the house running, finding time to write is difficult. My husband also works long hours and I was having to spend time at the weekend "working" rather than being with the family.

This is when the surrender motto really started to take hold. Surrender to the moment. You can't do everything at once. Really enjoy what's in front of you now, and do what you enjoy.

Surrendering to motherhood as a way of life

It was while in this mindset that I stumbled upon a book called, "The Surrender Experiment" by Michael Singer. He recounts his experience going from a phD student studying economics, and wanting to dedicate his life to meditation to quiet the voice in his mind to basically starting a spiritual temple while running multiple successful businesses - by simply surrendering to what came his way.

I found his story fascinating.

I also read "Don't believe everything you think", by Joseph Nyugen. This one I stumbled across in Waterstones and I'm embarrassed to admit it was the simplicity of its textured cover that drew me to it. But the message was essentially the same - stop over thinking, live in the moment, and trust your intuition to lead the way rather than trying to micromanage every single outcome.

I find this quite a liberating concept.

What we can learn from Plants about surrendering

There is much in nature that can teach us the same message. When you look at a tree, or a plant, they are not overthinking, or trying to force certain outcomes. They are just being, and surrendering to whatever that moment brings.

That doesn't mean they don't strive towards the light, which of course they do; or that they don't reach down into the soil for nutrients, which again, they do.

But it does mean that when the moment comes to shed their leaves, they do it. They don't hold on to look good. They follow the seasons of the year and surrender to what comes their way. There is. a strange freedom in that.

Leaves surrender to the moment - they go from green to brown to frost covered and eventually decompose

In the spring most plants unfurl and grow, in the summer they flower, in the autumn they fruit and in the winter they conserve energy down into their roots which then gives them more strength to grow again.

For me, this means accepting this particular season of my life, and more than that - leaning into it. I’m lucky that I can spend my days watching my baby learn to crawl or clap; and doing afternoon crafts with my five year old. This is where my focus is right now and I love it.

Our capitalist society tells us that we have to be economically productive to be a useful member of society. Even though I know in my heart that being with my children is what feels right right now , as someone who has hitherto been quite career focused I feel this pressure from society at large to be economically productive.

Of course there is the reality of bills, and life being expensive - and eating into one's cushion always feels risky. But I also know that it's now that my children need me. Having lost my mum when I was three, I'm acutely aware that we might not get tomorrow.

My next steps

As we look into the new year, I'm facing a new chapter of my life as I will not be going back to the job I had before my maternity leave. I am blessed that I can take a little bit longer with my baby - I know this isn’t the case for everyone and I myself went back to work full time after my first child.

And I’m not quite sure what the future will bring. How exactly things will align. What my life will look like this time next year.

Sitting with that can be difficult, and challenging. That's why it's important to develop microhabits - wether they be meditation, or going for a woodland run as I did this morning. Quietening my mind is the way forward.

And it's exciting, truly it is. By surrendering to this moment and staying open to what comes next I feel much more at peace and energised about the future. For the first time in years, I feel free.

There's nothing like a woodland walk to remind me that leaning into the season can be beautiful, no matter the season

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